Willpower and adrenaline can be very powerful when combined.

Together, they are what get me through those days when I’m not at my best, but really need to achieve something – whether that’s visiting family or just dragging myself to work.

The problem is that both can be very short-lived.

So on a weekend I tell myself it’s time to rest. And that’s when the fatigue can be at its worst. My spoons have all but disappeared and the only option I have is to just do nothing – not even watch TV or read a book.

And I feel bad. “Why can’t I do the things I want to?” So next time I have some spoons, I go all out to do the things I’ve missed out on…and set myself back in the process.

Living with fatigue is a constant balancing act that takes time to process and understand – I can still fall into bad habits even now, 18 years later. That’s why people who don’t have M.E. find it so difficult to comprehend. They don’t get why I seem fine one minute and exhausted the next, or why I can feel so bad after a full day of rest.

In reply, I like to paraphrase Bruce Banner: